Censorship is bad. Discrimination is bad. Penguins are innocent.

Recently, the National Library Board (NLB) of Singapore yanked three children’s book titles off its shelves after complaints from a member of the public that the books did not promote family values. The book "And Tango Makes Three" about the real story of two male penguins hatching an egg and raising a little penguin is considered offensive. The other book "The White Swan Express" talks about families of single mom and lesbian couple is also considered offensive. And the last book "Who is in my Family?" talks about different families, including families of single parent and same-sex couple again, and is considered offensive.

So what will happen to these books after they're removed from the shelf? Ah... NLB has promised that they will be destroyed. Maybe shredded to pieces, maybe burnt, maybe disintegrated by a laser gun. Just KABOOMZ and these books shalt not exist anymore. Of course and apparently, the idea of DESTROYING A BOOK does not sit well with local writers. DUH. Because (1) One does not simply destroy a book if one IS A LIBRARY. unless one is a garang guni, fine. (2) Any writer/artist will tell you it takes LOTS of sweat and blood and money to publish a book. So to us, IT IS A SIN to destroy a book. Hell it is a taboo to even TALK about destroying a book among us! (3) So now NLB is doing censorship too? Did some Media Destroy... (oops I meant Development) Authority (MDA) officers went undercover in NLB? and lastly (4) What's wrong with these books? Are there violent or nudity in these books? Ok the penguins are in nude. But I believe that was not the concern of those concerned parents who supported the ban.

Really. So what's wrong with these books? Well, according to the Minister for Communications and Information Dr Yaacob Ibrahim, NLB's decision to ban three children's story books deemed "not pro-family" was in line with community norms. Like... Dude... Seriously? He forgot that the alternative, non-traditional families who are the minority in Singapore are also Singaporeans who pay tax and indirectly, pay for his salary? These minority also sing the Singapore anthem during National Day Parade, they also pick a side during General Elections leh! So because they're not the traditional one-many-one(or many)-woman family, they're not pro-family now?

So KABOOMZ! A rage of unhappiness and protests exploded on the internet. Basically people who support the Pink Dot (and NOT ALL who support the Pink Dot are LGBT mind you! I support the protection of animals from abuse but I assure you I don't look like a cat!) and believes in equality and coexistence felt that the country should not just pretend the LGBT community does not exist and treat them like glass-people. And these books is a good way to explain to kids that there are different types of families in this world, and love in the family is more important than anything else. Hell, a gay couple who loves each other and their kid is better than Andy's father who gamble away all the family's savings in World Cup and maybe his mother is considering divorce! And then there're those people, like a particular pastor, who thinks that the LGBT community is causing the country's moral to decline and like cancer, should be treated ASAP. These people feel that such books will poison the kids' minds and turn them into gays/lesbians like a magic wand.

Now what? These two groups of people will continue to fight. When one fight for freedom of knowledge and freedom to love, there's always another one that fight to keep the tradition, maybe in accordance to one's religion teaching. Just like when Abraham Lincoln wanted to free the slaves, half the country protested. But whatever the fight, and whoever are in the fight, I believe we should leave these books alone.

Look, these are children books, there to teach about family and LOVE. There are no indication of right or wrong type of families in the books. They are merely there to let the kids know that there're different types of families around them, like there're different types of nonya kuehs. A kid won't suddenly grow to like ondeh ondeh just because he/she sees it on a shelf. But at least now he/she knows there is such a kueh know as ondeh ondeh.

Anyway, if a parent is really not ready to expose his/her kid to these books, it is the parent's job to keep the books 400m away from the kid right? DON'T tell me that stupid excuse about WHAT IF your kid got hold of the book when he/she was unattended because THOU SHALT NOT LET YOUR KID RUN AROUND IN THE LIBRARY UNATTENDED in the first place! Bodoh!

Riot at Singapore Little India

Some heard, this was the secret conversation that was exchanged during the Riot at Little India...

0:00
Ambulance (calling Police Car #1): Er... now how har?
Police car #1: See how first lah, maybe they'll go away leh...
Fire Engine (calling Police Car #1): Ok so we wait for your call har!

1:00
Police car #1: So you want to get down to control the crowd?
Police car #2: Wah why us? You all more senior leh! You get down we follow lah!
Police car #1: Ok I tell you what, we wait and see first...

2:00
Police car #2: Oui, you getting down or not?
Police car #1: Wait lah, we wait and see first...

3:00
Police car #2: Er... like getting more people leh...
Police car #1: Wah lidat better wait and see first...

3:20
Police car #1: Shit! They throwing things at us! [to Radio] MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!

4:00
Police car #2: Wah biang! They going to overturn Police Car #1 leh! Wah biang! Turtle liaoz!
Police car #1: SHIT! SHIT! FUCK!

4:20
Ambulance (calling Police Car #2): Wah biang! You all take care, we jiao first! Sorry har!
Police car #2: SHIT! They're going to overturn us now! Told you we should jiao first when Police Car #1 kena turtle!

5:05
Police car #3: SHIT! We better stay in the car! Dunno got chance to reverse or not...

6:40
Fire Engine: Wah biang! Better jiao first!
Police car #3 (calling Fire Engine): OUI! Why you hit me?!
Fire Engine: Sorry! Sorry!
Police car #4 (calling Fire Engine): OUI!
Fire Engine: Sorry! Sorry! We jiao first, you all take care ok!

7:40
Police car #4: SHIT! We going turtle liao! HELP! HELP!

More details on the Riot in Singapore's Little India news.

When Singapore taxi uncles watch too much movies

Taxi uncle saw this at The Bourne Identity...


(Fast forward to 0:40)

So he also wanted to try...


Picture from Stomp.com.sg

Then another taxi uncle saw this at a very old movie...


(Fast forward to 5:10)

And decided to give it a try too...


Picture from Stomp.com.sg

So yes, I think taxi uncles should stop watching so much movies and stick to Ch8 drama series.

Why God said sorry to Kong Hee

After spending God's money on his wife's lousy MTVs and their celebrity lifestyle, Kong Hee said God says sorry for letting him kena charged. Really?

Read more and be amazed here: Video of City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee’s sermon ignites online outrage

Only the right kind of comics are allowed here

The Singapore government is charging Singaporean political cartoonist Leslie Chew for contempt of court.

Apparently the government did not find 4 of his comics funny. The first appeared to accuse Singapore's judiciary of unfairness, a.k.a. "there's a Lite version of the law for certain group of people". The second appeared to imply that we have a Kangaroo Court in Singapore. The third appeared to compare a heavy-handed case of an opposition politician vs light-handed case of a Romanian diplomat. The fourth appeared to question the disparity in sentences meted out to people committing similar crimes.

As always, there're two opposite reactions from the Singaporeans. One group says Chew asked for it for challenging the authorities. Which is a really dangerous stunt to try in Singapore. Another group applauded him for his courage to draw the truth out and even started a petition to have his charges dropped.

So here's my take as a cartoonist. First of all, I find the government very petty to charge a cartoonist (P.S. This is my very personal opinion not meant to prove any point, so please don't sue me). Like, dude, these are cartoons! Why so serious?! Why should you care so much that you have to charge that guy? Well, I think the government should just heck-care that guy. Here's why:

• Chew's comic strips are only found online, on his site and Facebook page, which means only those only-know-how-to-complain-and-never-get-their-facts-right netizens will read them. The government should not be worried that any good citizen that reads the newspapers and only believes in the newspapers will even go online to read Chew's strips.
• Chew wrote a disclaimer with every one of his strip. It's a disclaimer! It's that chunk of font size 6 text that you find at the bottom of a very last page of an investment contract that you sign with a bank. That text that says your banker says your investment in this fund will make you lots of money, but if something bad happens and you lost all your money, the bank is not responsible. So why can't we take Chew's disclaimers seriously too? Nobody loses any money anyway.
• Shouldn't the authorities spend their time on other more urgent cases, like recovering the S$1.76 million tax money that was stolen by some senior CPIB officer? Even if this case has been attended to, shouldn't the government go check on some other officers in the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau as well? You know, just in case? (P.S. I'm only thinking, when there is cheating on a test in the class, most of the time more than one classmate is cheating. So maybe this might applies to the real world as well. So please don't sue me)

On the other hand, Chew should also have been more careful with his pen. He should have seen it coming. Look, have you ever seen a political comic strip on the newspapers that mocks Singapore politics or politicians? We'll only publish comic strips that laughs at the U.S., China or any other countries worth laughing at, but we never laugh at ourselves. Definitely not at our own politicians. Our government is really serious and we the ignorant commoners are nobody to laugh at how they do their work.

Chew should have followed these rules when he draws his comic strips:

• Thou shall not talk about races, languages and religions. We are not like the U.S. and we are not free to talk about these stuff.
• Thou shall not disclose our dislikes on policies. We are not like the U.S. or Taiwan and we are not free to talk about these stuff.
  
  
• Thou shall not draw characters that look like any Singapore politicians. We are not like Hong Kong and we are not free to draw these people.
  
  

So in summary, do I think Chew deserves to be punished? Yes, I think he should, for crossing the holy boundary that no cartoonist has crossed in Singapore, for pushing his luck. And I think he will be because the government definitely wants to prevent more cartoonists from going astray. How should he be punished? I hope not more than SGD1,000. That's the fine for littering, and I don't think his comic strips are as harmful to Singapore's environment as those litters in the lifts, at the bus-stops and on the roads.

So here's what I have on my mind on the Leslie Chew case. Please excuse me now, I'll need to go draw three white mice living happily with their China neighbour.

So some people are suing some people for a quote by some people

Some people like to use quotes from other people, even when these people might not even understand what those other people actually meant.

Because the Internet is free for all to see, eventually some people, or even a lot of people, gets to read a stupid quote that some people have ignorantly quoted from other people. Of course some people will tend to make fun of these people who quote something stupid without fully understanding what they quote.

Now the problem is that these people who anyhow quote other people can sometimes be people with the cash and power to buy lawyers. And usually these people are not very happy to know that some people are talking behind their back. So almost for sure, these people will dig out those people who disagree with them, and tell them to remove all negative comments about the quote that they quoted from other people and do not associate the quote with them, or else they will be sued.

All these trouble just because somebody stole a quote from somebody.

Are you ready for 2030?

Years ago, we thought this 790JPY (SGD11) bowl of ramen is expensive.



Now we're not that different.



Years ago, we thought it is crazy to pay 41,500,000JPY (SGD556,374) for a studio apartment.



Now we're not that different.



Years ago, we thought this was funny.



Now we're not that different.



Moving forward, are you ready for 2030?

Next Station... NABE.

LTA has invited the public to name the Thomson Line MRT Stations.

These are my suggestion:

1. Woodlands North - Near Cheap Petrol
2. Woodlands South - Still Near Cheap Petrol
3. Springleaf - Springfield
4. Lentor - Ah Long
5. Mayflower - Summer Garden
6. Sin Ming - New Name
7. Upper Thomson - High Class Thomson
8. Mount Pleasant - Nice Hill
9. Napier - Nabe
10. Orchard Boulevard - Still Orchard
11. Great World City - Finally There
12. Havelock- Last Time Got Boats
13. Maxwell - Last Time Got Good Food
14. Shenton Way - Rich Bankers Place
15. Marina South - Rich People Play
16. Gardens By The Bay - Rich People Gardens

Now you can choose the kind of telemarketers to harass you

Remember gahmen promised to look into cutting down the insane numbers of phone calls we get from telemarketers? Well, here it is - their MyCall Registry project (another million dollars project?).

"The MyCall Registry is part of INSIS' efforts to support Singapore's Consumer Privacy Law. Consumers will only get marketing emails and phone calls on promotions they have specified on the MyCall Registry Form." All you need to do is to register with your phone numbers, address and email (and hope that they themselves don't leak these info) and choose one kind of telemarketers who you allow to irritate you. Yup. You have to choose at least ONE or else you'll get a form error.

Hooray! Now you'll only get phone calls from the kind of telemarketers that YOU have selected! Still irritating, but maybe less irritating now because YOU have selected to be irritated by these topic(s).



My advise? Tick "Environment". Come'on, since when do you see Singapore businesses give a damn about our environment? At least you can be sure you won't get any call from Sentosa.

To know more and register, check out http://www.mycall.sg/.

Don't put a race in your rantings

And yes, the netizens (the press's favourite name) in Singapore are always hungry for blood.

P.S.: Just to cover my ABC, for those who try to act smart, the grey used in the comics is meant to show grey guy A in first frame go tell more people, then grey guy B in second frame go shout in the public. That is the only reason I used GREY. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH.

When Prince William and Kate decided to visit Queenstown

(Click to enlarge to read the bubbles!)

This is what happens when Prince William and Kate decided to visit Queenstown. Because most of the older builds were already tore down and most people have moved out, it is necessary to activate all the kids and old people and all who don't have to work. So that we can show the royal couples how Singapore uncles and aunties like to wear sweater and traditional costumes to Taichi, and how children like to play at the playground at 3pm under the hot sun instead of playing PS3 in their aircon rooms. Oh, also it seems like today no tuition! YAY!

The logic of too many orders is better than no order

"Businesses should look at the positive side of the new regulations on foreign workers. They are complaining that they cannot fulfil orders because they don't have enough workers. This is a happy problem. Which would you prefer - too many orders, or no orders at all?" - MP Gan Thiam Poh

Assume number of orders received = x, number of workers = y, number of workers to fulfill one order = z.

Thus number of orders that can be fulfilled = y/z
If x = y/z, number of orders that can be cashed in = x
If x > y/z, number of orders that can be cashed in = y/z
If x = 0 then number of orders that can be cashed in = 0

So Mr MP is right that bosses should be happy if they have more orders than they can handle because they still can cash in y/z orders.

However... Mr MP forgot this equation too...

Assume number of customers lost = m,
Number of potential orders lost b = m x n, where n = number of potential order per customer
Number of customers lost to competitors c = m
Number of peers from lost customers that moved over to competitors d = m x p, where p = number of peers per customer

So definitely Mr MP feels that businesses should still be happy and contented even if their number of customers and potential customers who moved over to their competitors is more than their remaining number of customers, because they could not fulfill their orders.

Roger that. A business should be contented to keep y/z constant.

How JTC can just terminate my season parking, because they can!

I've been working at Fusionopolis for years and has been parking there for years. There is a huge basement carpark (all the way to B6 I believe) but alas, most lots are either reserved for those scholars at A*STAR, or are visitor lots. Which is why I was not given a season parking lot at the basement carpark, and have to park at the surface instead.

Here's the interesting part. The basement carpark is never full.

Because the season parking lots allocated to each company is based on the floor area of the company, and since that A*STAR is almost like owning the building, they took up most of the season parking lots. And since there are not enough driving scholars to take up the season parking lots, there are endless empty season parking lots in the carpark everyday.

But well, at least I managed to secure a season parking lot at the surface carpark. Until now.

Today, I've received an sms with this message:

"Please note that fusionopolis surface carpark will be terminated wef 1april 2012. please call 67494119 for more info. Thank you. From P Parking".

Yap. Just a short and sweet sms is needed to chase me, among the other season parkers, out of the carpark. Because according to the season parking contract, as long as they give a minimum of one month's notice, they can terminate our season parking any time they want. No explanation and no alternate solution required. Bravo.

I've got no idea why is JTC closing the surface carpark and what they're going to do with it (among the other endless constructions in the area). But what I do know is that there are now many season parkers like me going to tear our hairs out looking for other possible season car parks around the area.

While the basement carpark is still empty.

According to their website, JTC is "Singapore's leading industrial infrastructure specialist spearheading the planning and development of a dynamic industrial landscape." Right. When they can't even handle their tenants' employees' season parking efficiently.

Review on 8X Zoom Telescope Lens For iPhone 4

The camera on iPhone has been improving all these years, and so many people have been using iPhone as their main camera. Okay lah, with a couple of good camera apps and some post-processing, you are really able to take some pretty good pictures using the iPhone. But sometimes don't you wish you can like... zoom a bit?

So recently I found a 8X Zoom Telescope Lens For iPhone 4 on Gmarket and here's a quick unbox and review on it...



SGD30 gives you an 8x zoom lens and a tripod, seems like a reasonable deal.

The tripod seems pretty stable, but I guess I'll do another video test on it later.



Indoor photo taken using just the iPhone lens.



Photo taken using the 8x zoom lens. The lens is actually screwed to a special phone case but due to the proportion, even though the lens is not very heavy, it is not easy to take a picture with steady hands. Little shakes magnified to big earthquake on the photo. Hmm... well, I know that's what the tripod is meant for, but also very mafang to take the tripod everywhere, no matter how small right?



Outdoor photo taken using just the iPhone lens.



I then took my shot outdoor, hoping that with more light, the picture can be clearer. But it's not easy also because you have to focus manually using the ring on the lens and stabilise the phone at the same time. I was actually trying to focus on the Singtel tower, but obviously I've accidentally focused on the flat on the left...

Conclusion? I need to practise more on the lens...

有冇搞错？点做生意架?

喜酒正要开始，新郎新娘的老爸老妈已经在门外招待客人。
新郎新娘已经在脑中彩排等一下进场是要怎样走，怎样挥手，怎样笑。
突然之间，酒楼老板跑出来跟新郎新娘说：“哎呀，不好意思！我知道你订了72桌，我也应该准备至少75桌的菜，但今天撞鬼了，我们只准备了52桌的菜！今天的喜酒取消，叫你的客人改天再来可以吗？”

你一定会想：“有冇搞错？点做生意架?”


今天你又去常去的那摊卖虾面的，听老板说他们今天会开始卖新的汤面。
你好兴奋又好紧张的等了又等，老板终于把一碗面捧到你的眼前。
那是一碗加了豆芽的排骨虾面。吃了一条虾，有不一样咩？连大小还是一样咧！喝了一口汤，而且汤也没换嘛！
你问老板，这碗最新的虾面跟其他的那几款有不一样咩？
老板心平气和的解释说：“当然不一样！第3款是原味虾面，第3S款是加了排骨的虾面，第4款是加了排骨和菜的虾面，然后最新的这款4S你没发现加了豆芽吗？”
可是别摊卖虾面的早就已经加豆芽了吧？
结果老板理直气壮的说：“反正这就是我们最新的虾面了，你不买大把人买！”

你一定会想：“有冇搞错？点做生意架?”

Another Home (The 'Other' National Day Video)

Nice production from SINdie!

THIS is the best ever National Day video I've watched all these years!

DIE DIE must watch lah!

My favourite part? The mushrooms and co-driver slapping the driver!

What is my review? Aiyah! I don't know what to say lah!

Why the hell do we need a Fun Pack song?

Like SERIOUSLY? A song about Newwater and biscuits?

Either the organizing committee is too creative and getting too far away out of the box, or simply too free.

And Lady Gaga agreed to us changing her lyrics? She really won't sue us for copyright?

And actually why don't we edit our own songs? After all it's a national even right?

Like changing "Train is coming" to "Pack is opening... pack is opening..."

BEWARE of Fake WP Volunteers Network

BEWARE of Fake WP Volunteers Network at www.wpvolunteers.org

A website is collecting volunteer information without the knowledge of The Workers' Party. Please do not entrust your information with them. Please share this information with all your friends who want to volunteer with WP.

If you do not see a link publicised from either Workers' Party's Facebook page or Workers' Party's website, it is definitely not an official Workers' Party site.

Board of Film Censors said The Kids Are NOT All Right

The Board of Film Censors rated Oscar-nominated film The Kids Are All Right as category R21, applying to 'films that may contain adult issues, themes and more explicit scenes,' and limited its release to one single print. Why? Got naked women in front of mirrors? Got hot sex? Nope. Got fully clothed decent lesbians.



Yap! The Kids Are All Right is a comedy from acclaimed director Lisa Cholodenko, starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo. The story goes that the two teenagers went to seek out their biological father and introduce him into the family life that their two mothers have built for them. And of course with the introduction of a "new" family member, the family ties are defined, re—defined, and re—re—defined. Yes it has a funny but touching story line with good actors and actresses, but it also touches the sensitive part of our gahmen.

The New York Times raves that it’s "a generous, nearly note—perfect portrait of a modern family," Entertainment Weekly calls the movie "funny, smart and sexy!", and the Board of Film Censors says "'films should not promote or normalize a homosexual lifestyle". Oh, and they also emphasise a very very important point. They said they already made a concession to allow the film's release, rather than to ban it. So be happy that they allow ONE PRINT ONLY and don't ask for too much okay!

If you're keen in watching that one print, go bookmark Cathay's movie page and look out for the release date. If you're internet savvy like most of us except the gahmen, you know where to find it. Or the last resort, you can always rely on our friendly DVD vendors across the bridge. :)

MBS Sky Park - our $20 night scene

There's no way that I'm going to pay for the $6 parking fee at Marina Bay Sands, so I parked my car at Marina Square instead. And this gives us the opportunity to walk along the Helix Bridge.



After crossing the Helix Bridge, we were greeted by a land of construction and road blocks. We were so confused that we had to ask a passer-by for the way...

Me: Aunty, which way do we go to the Marina Bay Sands?
Aunty: Har? Don't know.
Me: Er... Aunty, how to go to casino?
Aunty: Oh! Casino har! In front turn left!



Finally we reached the Marina Bay Sands lobby, which is pretty huge with lotsa lifts, with even more security guards standing sternly in front of the lifts. But no sign of the sign to the Sky Park lift. So we've got no choice but to check with one of the security with no expression, only to find out that the Sky Park lift is outside the hotel.



For some reason that must be too chim for us commoners to understand, tripods are not allowed on the Sky Park. So with my ISO set as high as possible and my hands as steady, these are the only photographs that are really acceptable...