Monday, December 9, 2013

Riot at Singapore Little India

Some heard, this was the secret conversation that was exchanged during the Riot at Little India...

Ambulance (calling Police Car #1): Er... now how har?
Police car #1: See how first lah, maybe they'll go away leh...
Fire Engine (calling Police Car #1): Ok so we wait for your call har!

Police car #1: So you want to get down to control the crowd?
Police car #2: Wah why us? You all more senior leh! You get down we follow lah!
Police car #1: Ok I tell you what, we wait and see first...

Police car #2: Oui, you getting down or not?
Police car #1: Wait lah, we wait and see first...

Police car #2: Er... like getting more people leh...
Police car #1: Wah lidat better wait and see first...

Police car #1: Shit! They throwing things at us! [to Radio] MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!

Police car #2: Wah biang! They going to overturn Police Car #1 leh! Wah biang! Turtle liaoz!
Police car #1: SHIT! SHIT! FUCK!

Ambulance (calling Police Car #2): Wah biang! You all take care, we jiao first! Sorry har!
Police car #2: SHIT! They're going to overturn us now! Told you we should jiao first when Police Car #1 kena turtle!

Police car #3: SHIT! We better stay in the car! Dunno got chance to reverse or not...

Fire Engine: Wah biang! Better jiao first!
Police car #3 (calling Fire Engine): OUI! Why you hit me?!
Fire Engine: Sorry! Sorry!
Police car #4 (calling Fire Engine): OUI!
Fire Engine: Sorry! Sorry! We jiao first, you all take care ok!

Police car #4: SHIT! We going turtle liao! HELP! HELP!

More details on the Riot in Singapore's Little India news.

Monday, November 11, 2013

When Singapore taxi uncles watch too much movies

Taxi uncle saw this at The Bourne Identity...

(Fast forward to 0:40)

So he also wanted to try...

Picture from

Then another taxi uncle saw this at a very old movie...

(Fast forward to 5:10)

And decided to give it a try too...

Picture from

So yes, I think taxi uncles should stop watching so much movies and stick to Ch8 drama series.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Why God said sorry to Kong Hee

After spending God's money on his wife's lousy MTVs and their celebrity lifestyle, Kong Hee said God says sorry for letting him kena charged. Really?

Read more and be amazed here: Video of City Harvest Church founder Kong Hee’s sermon ignites online outrage

Friday, July 26, 2013

Only the right kind of comics are allowed here

The Singapore government is charging Singaporean political cartoonist Leslie Chew for contempt of court.

Apparently the government did not find 4 of his comics funny. The first appeared to accuse Singapore's judiciary of unfairness, a.k.a. "there's a Lite version of the law for certain group of people". The second appeared to imply that we have a Kangaroo Court in Singapore. The third appeared to compare a heavy-handed case of an opposition politician vs light-handed case of a Romanian diplomat. The fourth appeared to question the disparity in sentences meted out to people committing similar crimes.

As always, there're two opposite reactions from the Singaporeans. One group says Chew asked for it for challenging the authorities. Which is a really dangerous stunt to try in Singapore. Another group applauded him for his courage to draw the truth out and even started a petition to have his charges dropped.

So here's my take as a cartoonist. First of all, I find the government very petty to charge a cartoonist (P.S. This is my very personal opinion not meant to prove any point, so please don't sue me). Like, dude, these are cartoons! Why so serious?! Why should you care so much that you have to charge that guy? Well, I think the government should just heck-care that guy. Here's why:
  • Chew's comic strips are only found online, on his site and Facebook page, which means only those only-know-how-to-complain-and-never-get-their-facts-right netizens will read them. The government should not be worried that any good citizen that reads the newspapers and only believes in the newspapers will even go online to read Chew's strips.
  • Chew wrote a disclaimer with every one of his strip. It's a disclaimer! It's that chunk of font size 6 text that you find at the bottom of a very last page of an investment contract that you sign with a bank. That text that says your banker says your investment in this fund will make you lots of money, but if something bad happens and you lost all your money, the bank is not responsible. So why can't we take Chew's disclaimers seriously too? Nobody loses any money anyway.
  • Shouldn't the authorities spend their time on other more urgent cases, like recovering the S$1.76 million tax money that was stolen by some senior CPIB officer? Even if this case has been attended to, shouldn't the government go check on some other officers in the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau as well? You know, just in case? (P.S. I'm only thinking, when there is cheating on a test in the class, most of the time more than one classmate is cheating. So maybe this might applies to the real world as well. So please don't sue me)
On the other hand, Chew should also have been more careful with his pen. He should have seen it coming. Look, have you ever seen a political comic strip on the newspapers that mocks Singapore politics or politicians? We'll only publish comic strips that laughs at the U.S., China or any other countries worth laughing at, but we never laugh at ourselves. Definitely not at our own politicians. Our government is really serious and we the ignorant commoners are nobody to laugh at how they do their work.

Chew should have followed these rules when he draws his comic strips:
  • Thou shall not talk about races, languages and religions. We are not like the U.S. and we are not free to talk about these stuff.
  • Thou shall not disclose our dislikes on policies. We are not like the U.S. or Taiwan and we are not free to talk about these stuff.

  • Thou shall not draw characters that look like any Singapore politicians. We are not like Hong Kong and we are not free to draw these people.

So in summary, do I think Chew deserves to be punished? Yes, I think he should, for crossing the holy boundary that no cartoonist has crossed in Singapore, for pushing his luck. And I think he will be because the government definitely wants to prevent more cartoonists from going astray. How should he be punished? I hope not more than SGD1,000. That's the fine for littering, and I don't think his comic strips are as harmful to Singapore's environment as those litters in the lifts, at the bus-stops and on the roads.

So here's what I have on my mind on the Leslie Chew case. Please excuse me now, I'll need to go draw three white mice living happily with their China neighbour.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Despicable people stealing toys from kids

Like seriously, Singaporeans? First it was Hello Kitties, now the Minions? Some more toys from HAPPY MEALS?! THE Happy Meals which are meant for KIDS?

Thanks to these pirates, all Minions were sold out island wide on the very Thursday that they were launched. Which means kids going to MCD after that will have to settle for old toys from the storeroom when they get their Happy Meals. Not that Happy for them now, I guess? Take a look at these adults, kids, they're the one stealing the toys from you!


And then what do they do after they’ve queued up during their long lunch time (no wonder bosses prefer foreign workers now) and bought their precious Minions? Sell them online and manipulate the price like how their more-mature counterparts play on the stock market, of course!

Nice one, Singaporeans. Nice one. You’ve just proven that we could be more despicable.

Friday, May 10, 2013

So some people are suing some people for a quote by some people

Some people like to use quotes from other people, even when these people might not even understand what those other people actually meant.

Because the Internet is free for all to see, eventually some people, or even a lot of people, gets to read a stupid quote that some people have ignorantly quoted from other people. Of course some people will tend to make fun of these people who quote something stupid without fully understanding what they quote.

Now the problem is that these people who anyhow quote other people can sometimes be people with the cash and power to buy lawyers. And usually these people are not very happy to know that some people are talking behind their back. So almost for sure, these people will dig out those people who disagree with them, and tell them to remove all negative comments about the quote that they quoted from other people and do not associate the quote with them, or else they will be sued.

All these trouble just because somebody stole a quote from somebody.

Friday, May 3, 2013

APPLE - It is Dangerous! (Folks, I REALLY Care)

Avoid eating apples frequently - kids, especially; a true story...!

A friend of mine recently found that her 14-years old daughter has difficulty absorbing knowledge acquired outside her school textbooks. While she has no difficulty scoring almost full marks for her Maths test, my friend found that her daughter could not find Singapore in a world map. In fact, she thought North America and North Korea looks alike and has difficulty telling them apart!

Distressed, my friend rushed her daughter down to their family doctor for a consultation. During the consultation, her doctor asked her a question that puzzled her. He ask if she was a frequent consumer of apples and she replied yes wondering as to how, he knew of her daughter's eating habits.

You see, the truth is in this modern day and age; apple trees are grown in open plantations and receive rain water through the soil directly. You might not be aware that due to all the protests happening around the world, rain water has become very poisonous now. That's why if you notice, if you were dretched in rain, you stay wet for so long, especially in an air-con room! Because that is not pure water! Therefore, apples that receive rain directly and from the soil have high concentration of the poison!

The rain poison have terrifying effects on the brain as it accelerates growth. It leads to kids being more prone to understanding only things that are taught by teachers and tested in examination. Due to the damages to specific brain cells, the kids do not and could not understand basic common sense.

Therefore, I advise the parents out there to watch their kids' diets and to lower their frequency of consuming apples!

If everyone who reads this post shares it to 100 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send to a friend. It could save a life... So, please be a true friend and share this article to all your friends you care about! You need to believe every single health and medical advice you see on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr, anywhere on the Internet! They are there because they are true! So please spread the news!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Are you ready for 2030?

Years ago, we thought this 790JPY (SGD11) bowl of ramen is expensive.

Now we're not that different.

Years ago, we thought it is crazy to pay 41,500,000JPY (SGD556,374) for a studio apartment.

Now we're not that different.

Years ago, we thought this was funny.

Now we're not that different.

Moving forward, are you ready for 2030?

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Next Station... NABE.

LTA has invited the public to name the Thomson Line MRT Stations.

These are my suggestion:

  1. Woodlands North - Near Cheap Petrol
  2. Woodlands South - Still Near Cheap Petrol
  3. Springleaf - Springfield
  4. Lentor - Ah Long
  5. Mayflower - Summer Garden
  6. Sin Ming - New Name
  7. Upper Thomson - High Class Thomson
  8. Mount Pleasant - Nice Hill
  9. Napier - Nabe
  10. Orchard Boulevard - Still Orchard
  11. Great World City - Finally There
  12. Havelock- Last Time Got Boats
  13. Maxwell - Last Time Got Good Food
  14. Shenton Way - Rich Bankers Place
  15. Marina South - Rich People Play
  16. Gardens By The Bay - Rich People Gardens