Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Overwatch - Saltywatch: Beyond Borders

Narrator: Every year thousands of Korean teenagers, Japanese clans, cold Chinese, Egyptian families, cowboys, giant gorillas and big Russian women leave the safety of their borders to enter dangerous places like King's Row. When the evil omnics strikes, the Overwatch Saltywatch Team is called into action.

Tracer voice-over: An Overwatch proverb says: "Cheers love, the cavalry is here!"

(Cut to a scene at Watchpoint Gibraltar and lots and lots of screens with random unreadable data. Lucio and D.Va are video-conferencing with Winston.)

Winston: So a British in King's Row has been murdered and witnesses saw a omnic running away from the death scene.

Lucio: And London needs our help?

Winston: No they don't. But because the victim is a British, and Tracer our poster lesbian is British, we will help. Whether their Prime Minister or Queen like it or not.

Tracer: Hell yeah!

D.Va: What do we know about King's Row?

Winston: King's Row is an upscale cosmopolitan area in London, but just beneath its peaceful surface, tensions between omnics and humans are running high. After England slashed the influx of immigrants entering London, they have been relying on the cheaper, better, faster omnics. But most omnics are forced to live in the slums, denied the basic rights that humans have. The omnics are just a bomb waiting to explode right under London's nose.

Lucio: Is London pursuing the suspect at this moment?

Winston: They would try, but I don't think they can handle it. The witnesses only saw an OR14 running away. But London can't tell one OR14 from another.

Tracer: Erm... neither do we.

Winston: Right, we don't. But we will kill all the OR14s that we encounter.

D.Va (grins): All I need is a nerf.

(Cut to a scene on King's Row, beneath the tube station. One middle-age fat police inspector from the Scotland Yard is gesturing and pointing on a large paper map on the desk.)

London police inspector: The unsup has been seen running towards this old abandoned factory here.

D.Va (gasps): This is where Santa Torbjorn produced all the Christmas presents last Christmas! How dare!

Lucio: Okay, it is personal now.

(Cut to a scene in the old abandoned factory which is badly destroyed by numerous MEKA Self Destruct, and broken metals all over the ground.)

London police inspector: Thank you very much. I could not have solved this crime without Overwatch. Although we still don't know which OR14 killed the human, but it doesn't matter since all the OR14s are dead. By the way, I thought you guys always travel in four?

Tracer: Yeah we do, mate. But it's Hanzo. He's never at the objective.

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