Monday, October 11, 2010

Too many selfish bastards, too little space

There is always some International survey going on to analyse people around the world. Like which country has the most billionaires, divorced people, old people, happy people or unhappy people. Surprisingly Singapore never turn up first on the "Country with highest number of unhappy people" though gahmen always complain that we complain too much. Anyway, Singapore is never number one in any of these surveys. We lost to Japan and Finland to be the cleanest, we lost to Hong Kong and Switzerland to have the most expensive homes, we even lost to Cambodia and China for ignoring human rights. But guess what? I think I might have found one category which we can win these big guys. We can be the country with the highest number of selfish bastards.

No, I'm not talking about those selfish bastards who climb over people and volunteers below his feet to build a perfect portfolio for his political career even if he has to overspend three times the budget. This is not a political blog and I don't think I'll like the taste of those free kopis at ISD.

I'm also not talking about those selfish bastards who pretend to run a public service but refuse to increase the frequency of that very public transport because earning more money and showing a perfect report to her shareholders is more important. There are more than enough blogs cursing and swearing at her and I don't take the public transport so often anyway.

I'm talking about those selfish bastards who lurk around where you stay, study and work. Those selfish bastards that you meet everyday, whether you like it or not.

He is the one who knows that it is an offense to smoke in the lift, but he'll still light it up anyway on the way down, so that he can start smoking the moment he steps out of the lift. Apparently even a few minutes matter on his race towards the destination of lung cancer.

He is the one who knows that it is an offense to litter, but since he didn't ask for those real estate and other leaflets in his letterbox, he thinks he can't be blamed for throwing them on the floor. Even if the rubbish bin is only 2m away.

He is the young one who feels that Rihanna or Jay Chow has to be listened while sitting and some standing is a good form of exercise for the old man or pregnant lady in front of him.

He is the one who thought that he can buy a shopping trolley for a dollar and he can bring it all the way from the supermarket to his house. And when he is done, he is generous enough to give it away by abandoning it on some open field.

He is the one who feels that parking his motorbike in a proper carpark is too expensive and too troublesome, and the pavement looks like a better parking space, even if it means blocking the way for the pedestrians, who are the real users.

He is the one who parks his car at the multi-storey carpark washing bay on weekdays to save parking fee, and on Sundays to save walking up the multi-storey carpark, even if he needs to occupy one out of the two lots for people who really need to wash their cars.

He is the one who parks his lorry/van/pick-up right outside the carpark entrance to unload the goods, instead of going into the loading bay, for the sake of his own convenience even if it means blocking the whole world who are trying to get into the carpark to do some real parking.

She is the one who thinks that filming her fellow schoolmates making out in the toilet and loading that video on Youtube is fun, even if it means destroying the future and life of two human beings.

And the selfish bastard of all selfish bastards is the one who stuck his chewing gum all over the place and thereby causing it to be totally banned in Singapore.

Actually you know what? While we're at importing more foreign talents and untalented into the country, can we send away one selfish bastard for every ten foreign talent/untalented that we bring in? No, tempted as I am to suggest, we can't do a one-to-one exchange. We'll run out of Singaporeans.

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