My new insurance agent has been so getting on my nerves. My previous favourite agent, who will ignore me for 364 days in a year except for one when she will call to ask whether I want a free desktop calender, has left and thus the insurance company has assigned me this new agent. We met up to do the transfer documents and she looked like a nice and understanding aunty to me. But I didn't know then that "persistent" is a more suitable adjective to describe her.
I should have known. When we were going through my financial profile, she tried very hard to find any extra hard cash or CPF money lying around. She wanted to know exactly how much I am paying for my house loan, car loan and whatever installments for my latest gadgets. When she realised that I am cash poor, she turned to my CPF money, but I disappointed her that there is a financial adviser guy managing the investment of my CPF money.
"But you should not put all your eggs into one basket, you know?"
"But we're investing in different funds of different natures and he has been growing money for me."
"But how can you trust all your CPF money to him?"
Right. I should not trust all my CPF money to a guy who I have known for five years and has been making profit for me all these while. I should trust you who I've known for only one hour.
The day after we met, I immediately regretted leaving her with my business card. She called me at 10am in the morning at my office phone and asked whether I could introduce my HR Manager to her, so that she could sell her company's medical insurance to the whole company. I gave her the email address of our Global HR Manager somewhere in US. "Oh... so your HR department is not in Singapore?". Aunty, of course I've got a local HR Manager, but what makes you think that I'm willing to embarrass myself for your sake? What makes you think that someone at the lower end of the food chain like me can convince my HR Manager to terminate our current medical insurance deal with an established International insurance company and start a new contract with a little agent like you?
Then she had another idea. She wanted me to introduce my colleagues to her. Well that was more reasonable. I told her to hand me some of her business cards when we meet up next time so that I could distribute them. But whether the cards end up in their wallets or the rubbish bin is out of my control.
Eventually I also realised that I'll definitely receive a call from her whenever the insurance company launches a new policy.
"Hey, we've got this new Smart Lady rider which is very good for you! It pays out a lump sum upon diagnosis of major female illnesses and even covers treatment expenses for a variety of female related procedures! You can even get free female medical checkup every two years!"
Great. So after having bought all sorts of critical illness riders that promise to cover almost all sorts of critical illness known to mankind and unknown to me, now the insurance company is telling me that they've actually missed out on some critical illness that only affect women, and I need to get another rider? What's next? White Collar Workers Critical Illness Rider that insures me against illness caused by too much computer usage? Singapore Drivers Critical Illness Rider that insures me against stupid drivers on the road? Movie Goers Critical Illness Rider that insures me against watching too much 3D movies and spoiling my eyesight?
A couple of weeks later, she called again because the company has launched another new rider that offers financial support right from the early stages of critical illnesses. I'm pretty sure the insurance company will soon launch another Last Stage Crisis Cover that offers financial support right at the last stage of critical illnesses to cover a luxurious last travel trip to Europe and a luxurious last meal of Wagyu steak at the Morton’s made by the chief chef.
Anyway, to save her from all the calling and me from coming up with all the excuses to not meet up with her, I suggested to her that she could email me in future because I can be easily reached by email and I check it everyday. What I forgot to mention is that it'll also be easier for me to mark her emails as spam.
Dear Insurance Aunty, I know that you're just trying to make a living, but I'm not your new whale. I'm just a poor ikan bili.