Monday, January 28, 2008

Complaints Choir of Singapore - the public performance that was unfortunately cancelled

All public performances of the Complaints Choir of Singapore have been cancelled. Why? Because of those foreign choir members of course! While it is totally okay for some foreigners to come snatch our jobs, the authorities did not want other foreigners to sing in our choir. The Malaysian born choir conductor and the artists Tellervo Kalleinen & Oliver Kochta-Kalleinen were not given a permission to perform. And since the choir decided that they did not want to perform under these circumstances, all public performances were cancelled.

Complaints Choir is a project, where people are invited to complain about anything they want to and sing the complaints out with fellow complainers. IMHO, sounds like it is so made for Singaporeans! We'll be damned if we're not part of it!

The humorous complaints choir performances have been popular all over the world but this is the first time the Complaints Choir project created negative attention due to the reactions of authorities.

Anyway, since we can't watch the public performance, here's the "private" one...

And here's the lyrics...


We get fined for almost everything
Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you

When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I’m stuck with my parents till I’m 35
Cause I can’t apply for HDB
We don’t recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee

What’s wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
Cause if you’re not the best
Then you’re just one of the rest

My oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What’s not expressly permitted
is prohibited


When I’m hungry at the food court, I see
People ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper
To the aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
And don’t clip your nails on MRT

Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty five
to collect my CPF?

Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die)
Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives)
Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids)


Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can’t take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train

Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc)
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me


There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?

At first it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What’s wrong with my powderful Singlish?

People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance


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