How do you tell that the lychees are cheap

Just when I stepped into the Fruits section of the mega supermarket, I was greeted by the sights of Indians crowded around a particular stall. But though there was like a village of them there, hands and almost feet got into the action, there was no pushing or shouting. They grabbed in peace.



So these are what they were grabbing. Lychees. In the stall, I could see branches and leaves more than the fruits. Looking around, I could see that some of them were grinning with plastic bags full of the fruits. Must be a damn good deal.

Ah Fook and friend cancelled their swim because of oil spill

(Picture in courtesy of Pet Society)

Ah Fook and friend happily strolled to the beach and prepared to dive into the waves when they realised that the beach was closed. A suspiciously strong stench of gas smell lingered at the whole beach as well. After confirming that none of them farted, they consulted their favorite adviser - the radio. The truth was indeed out there, in the afternoon news. A Malaysian tanker had collided with another bulk carrier registered in some ulu place called St Vincent and the Grenadines. And Ah Fook thought the weirdest and farthest place that he has known was Madagascar.

SWIM-MATE: Wah, so one big tanker langgar with another big carrier?

AH FOOK: Apparently so...

SWIM-MATE: But both are big ships right? And they can't see each other in bright daylight?

AH FOOK: Hmm... maybe because one is turning right and the other going straight and then the turn right one didn't wait for traffic to be clear?

SWIM-MATE: But big ships turn slow right? So how is it possible that the turn right vessel even make a wrong judgment? You see on-coming vessel, of course you don't eir-eir go and take your time turn right, right?

AH FOOK: Hmm... or maybe they langgar when changing lane, tanker want to cut into carrier's lane then carrier don't give way?

SWIM-MATE: Wah! The sea so big, do they really need to cut into each other's lane? Anyway, I still don't get it how two big ships can collide into one another during broad daylight...

AH FOOK: Oh! I know why! Maybe because both navigators were navigating the vessels with their eyes fixed on the GPS instead of looking at the sea ahead of them, so they didn't see each other, and so they langgar lor!

SWIM-MATE: Hmm... that is possible! Or maybe the carrier's brake not working!

AH FOOK: But one thing for sure, their insurance next year are sure going to be rocket high!

What's happening: Parts of East Coast beach closed due to oil spill

Ah Fook mourns the death of the great Dr Goh who created Singapore

(Picture in courtesy of Pet Society)

Together with the rest of the nation, Ah Fook mourns the death of the great Dr Goh Keng Swee who created Singapore.

In the beginning when Singapore was in a mess, this is what Dr Goh has done for the country:

• He started the Economic Development Board to attract foreign MNCs to invest in Singapore, though nobody trusted MNCs in those days, thinking they were only good for exploiting three world countries' labour force


• He transformed the swamp called Jurong into a busy industrial estate, providing jobs for Singaporeans


• Upon leaving Malaya in 1965, he created National Service to make it mandatory for young men to be trained to protect the country


• He established the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation to invest the country's excess reserves, so that we could earn more money


• He suggested the Jurong Bird Park, Singapore Zoo and even the Underwater World in Sentosa at a later stage


• He started the Singapore Symphony Orchestra and backed the construction of the Kreta Ayer People's Theatre in his constituency as a venue for Chinese opera performances


• To minimise school drop-outs, he created the streaming system to ensure academically poor students get a chance to study at a slower pace

Dr Goh has done much more than what has been listed here, and it takes more than just a blog post to honor all that he has done and achieved. Ah Fook salutes Dr Goh and reckons that he might not see another great man like Dr Goh Keng Swee again in his life time.

Rest in peace, Dr Goh.

What's happening: Obituary - Goh Keng Swee 1918-2010

Ah Fook checked on Brother Loong's IR earnings

(Picture in courtesy of Pet Society)

Ever since the opening of the two Integrated Resorts, Brother Loong had been so busy with work that Ah Fook hardly see him at his regular relax spots, thus Ah Fook decided to pay him a visit to check things out.

AH FOOK: Brother! Wah! These days you very busy hor? Never see you at the pubs liao!

BROTHER LOONG: Fook! How nice of you to come visit me! Oh... don't tell me you need cash!

AH FOOK: Brother...

BROTHER LOONG: Hahaha... kidding lah, kidding!

AH FOOK: So how's life? So busy means business good huh?

BROTHER LOONG: Hahaha... just surviving! Surviving! But yes, ever since the opening of the two IRs, my men and I have been working days and nights! Lending, collecting lending and collecting again!

AH FOOK: Good for you! But this means with the opening of the two IRs, there're really more people gambling lor?

BROTHER LOONG: Hmm... in a way lor... but actually most of the people who visit the IRs are already regular gamblers who used to gamble on cruises and Genting lah.

AH FOOK: But these locals really don't mind paying a hundred dollars just to go into the casino?

BROTHER LOONG: Fook, you've got to think like a gambler! You see, though they need to pay a hundred dollars of levy, but they don't have to waste time traveling out to sea or up a mountain! Time is also money to these people, you know? And what is one hundred dollars to them compared to the kind of money that they're prepared to lose!

AH FOOK: Oh... that's true... so your men will also pay a hundred dollars to go into the casino?

BROTHER LOONG: Yap, I do send some of them in, so that the people can lend money from us on the spot, don't even need to leave the casino. Then I'll place some at the ATMs too, so that the people know who to turn to when they've reached their withdrawal limits.

AH FOOK: Wow... seems like the actual people who benefits from the IRs are actually loan sharks like you man!

BROTHER LOONG: No, no, Fook, you're so wrong! We're just ikan bilis! We're not the biggest winner! The gahmen is!

AH FOOK: Huh? The gahmen? Because of the increase of visitors to the country?

BROTHER LOONG: No lah, Fook! The IRs are never built just to attract tourists! The gahmen must know that like the F1 racing, after the first two years, people are not interested anymore!

AH FOOK: Then what do they benefit from building the IRs?

BROTHER LOONG: Tax! Didn't you hear? After the IRs are opened for just few months only, the gahmen has collected $70 million in casino entry levies already! That is some big money okay!

AH FOOK: Wow... $70 million...

BROTHER LOONG: Yah! Smart right, the gahmen? They're sick and tired of the people giving their money across the causeway liao lah! Hey Fook, by the way, I heard you're still jobless right? Wanna come help me oversee my operations? Just help me to make sure my runners come back with the money?

What's happening: $70m collected in levies

Even Hitler boycotts Starhub and Singtel overpriced World Cup packages

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nyfG6mlT6U

SingTel and StarHub said they will charge their existing subscribers $70.62 to watch World Cup matches if they sign up by May 31, or $94.16 thereafter. Previously during the 2006 World Cup, StarHub charged early subscribers $10.50 only. If this is not a nation-wide rip off, I don't know what is.

Okay, time to buy Singtel and StarHub shares...

Star Wars in Singapore

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Kiasuism is what gives a Singaporean his power. It's an energy field created by all truly locally born Singaporeans. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the country together.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: It's your mother tongue. This is the language of a Chinese. Not as clumsy or as random as English, but a more elegant language for a more civilized age. For years, the Chinese speaking Singaporeans were the guardians of culture and root in the country. Before the dark times, before the Empire.

Darth Vader: Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Goh Keng Swee and will soon see the end of good politicians.

Yoda: Yes, a local's strength flows from the root. But beware of the new immigrant side. Anger, fear, aggression; the new immigrant side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight for job!

Darth Vader: I am your father. Now stop complaining about the public transport.

Padme: Gahmen, you’re breaking my heart! And you’re going down a path I cannot follow!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the opposition, not join them. You were to add one more scholar to the party, not leave it in darkness.

Yoda: Over importing new immigrants is the path to the dark side. Fear of the locals leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate… leads to suffering.

Ah Fook hopes to get a NDP ticket!

(Picture in courtesy of Pet Society)

All these years, via phones, SMSs, AXS machines, SAM machines, internet, no matter how hard Ah Fook has tried, he just can't seem to get the tickets to National Day Parade!

Sometimes he really wonders, is it because he grumbled too much on his blog about the overcrowded MRT trains, or the super slow and unfriendly nurses in the poly-clinics? Is it because his block is too near the opposition ward though not in it? Or is it because on the previous year, he didn't hang the flag outside his flat early enough?

Now it's that time of the year again, to ballot for a little seat at the Padang, to celebrate the country's birthday with the other countrymen! Ah Fook dug his wardrobe for the only white piece of clothing he has and wore his trademark red pirate hat as usual. At exactly 20:10hrs, on the first day of ballot, he turned his notebook to face Southeast (the Feng Shui master said Southeast is his lucky direction of the year) and submitted his form to e-ballot for a seat at the NDP 2010. Hopefully, this year, Ah Fook could finally get a ticket, not that idiot who got 6 tickets and sold for $50 each on eBay!

What's Happening: NDP 2010 e-Balloting Website