AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT my diary. This is just a fictional story of an useless little manager working in a large local organisation. If you work in a large local organisation and find this figure looking suspiciously like your manager, it is only because these useless managers breed freely in large local organisations and the only way to stop them is to remove their stable diet - their subordinates.
We have this gigantic celling-to-floor Scholar Wall at the lobby which greets everyone as they take the lift to work everyday. It has little circular photographs of our scholars all over the wall. It is really a great wall that honors our scholars and their great contribution of... of... of great researches.
However, since I was here, I've also noticed that the wall has not been well maintained. The silver words "Our Scholars" right at the top are not so shiny anymore. Someone from Facilities should talk to the cleaners. Also, the color on most of the photographs seem to have faded. This is a really serious negligence and I had to book an urgent meeting with my boss to talk about it.
My boss too agreed that most of the photographs have already faded from color into gray and white and should have been replaced. And since I was the one who took the initiative to bring it up, the important task of replacing the photographs fell on my laps. Thrilled, I informed one of my gals about this great task. But for some unknown reasons, she didn't seem very happy to locate all the scholars in the organisations and approach them for new photographs. Well, she should be! It was an honorable task!
A couple of days later, she sent me the photographs and a scholars name list. To my surprise, a lot of the scholars have left the organisation so she couldn't get their photographs. This is something I can never understand. Why will a scholar ever want to leave the organisation? The pay is great, the career path is even greater, and all he/she needs to do is research! I will retire here if I'm a scholar! Anyway, I couldn't ask Facilities to replace the photographs else there will be lots of empty circles on the wall. So I requested for an urgent meeting with my boss to sort it out.
Of course I went to the meeting with a couple of suggestions. I suggested putting up photographs of to-be-scholars who are still studying overseas, but my boss's concern was what if they break their contracts, or run around naked in Holland Village, or get arrested for children porn. Then I suggested filling up the empty circles with photographs of management staff like myself (that was secretly my favourite suggestion), but that will mean the silver words "Our Scholars" have to be replaced and my boss was concerned with the cost. Finally, I suggested filling up the gaps with text listing our achievements, but my boss was concerned that there might not be enough to fill up the gaps, even if we were to put in "Others" achievements like "100% Attendance in the YOG events by all staff". Well, we can always make the font size super big, but that might not look nice on the wall.
So at the end of the meeting, my boss patted me on the shoulder and said,"It's okay, we'll just leave the wall as it is now, and we'll see to it again next quarter."
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Diary of a Useless Manager - Please use the $70 voucher!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT my diary. This is just a fictional story of an useless little manager working in a large local organisation. If you work in a large local organisation and find this figure looking suspiciously like your manager, it is only because these useless managers breed freely in large local organisations and the only way to stop them is to remove their stable diet - their subordinates.
We have just bought some new phones in the office and as a gratitude, the vendor has given us a $70 supermarket voucher. But never did I expect that it'll be that difficult to use up this $70 voucher.
I thought it would be a good idea to spend the $70 to top up the pantry with some biscuits and titbits. So as a democratic head of unit, I emailed the department and asked them to submit a list of items that they would like to purchase with the voucher, with details like item description, price and quantity. You would have expected me to be overwhelmed by eager suggestions from my happy staff right? Wrong! After one whole week, I received zero email. So I called my PA into my room.
I asked her why nobody responded to my email and she just folded her arms and said,"Because nobody in the office has ever worked in the supermarket before, so we don't remember all the stuff that can be found there, and of course we won't know the price even if we do know what we want. And the most important thing is, how do I know whether what I want is also what others want? Even for the same potato chips, I might suggest Brand A but others might prefer Brand B! And even if we did provided suggestions, what if the list of suggested items ended up costing more than $70?".
I hope she was not waiting for me to suggest that I'll top up the amount when she asked that last question. I mean, it's not fair for me to use my own money to buy titbits for the department right?
Since the gals are not co-operative enough to spare a bit of their time to come up with their wish lists to be consolidated into a shopping list (which of course will be done by my PA), we needed a plan B. So I told my PA that they could just take the voucher and go directly to the supermarket to do the purchase. But they have to do it outside office hours.
"What do you mean by outside office hours?", she raised her eyebrow and asked. I thought that sentence explained itself. "Which means, I don't want you girls to go shopping during office hours, and not even during lunch time, because that will mean you girls need to take long lunch." To which she rebutted,"So you want us to run the arrand after work?". Finally she got it.
Since it's free money for them to buy titbits, they should be more than happy to do it right? And anyway I'm not asking the whole office to run this errand, just one volunteer will do.
"So now you want one of us to go to the supermarket after work and buy $70 worth of food, and then bring all these loads of food to the office on the next day?", she snorted.
"Yes", I replied matter-of-factly. I was hoping she will volunteer because her husband drives her to work, but instead she just turned around and walked out of my office! I really need to talk to my PA about her manners. And seriously, I don't know why my gals are making this task seem so difficult when my maid can go to the supermarket alone and bring back a trolley full of groceries!
We have just bought some new phones in the office and as a gratitude, the vendor has given us a $70 supermarket voucher. But never did I expect that it'll be that difficult to use up this $70 voucher.
I thought it would be a good idea to spend the $70 to top up the pantry with some biscuits and titbits. So as a democratic head of unit, I emailed the department and asked them to submit a list of items that they would like to purchase with the voucher, with details like item description, price and quantity. You would have expected me to be overwhelmed by eager suggestions from my happy staff right? Wrong! After one whole week, I received zero email. So I called my PA into my room.
I asked her why nobody responded to my email and she just folded her arms and said,"Because nobody in the office has ever worked in the supermarket before, so we don't remember all the stuff that can be found there, and of course we won't know the price even if we do know what we want. And the most important thing is, how do I know whether what I want is also what others want? Even for the same potato chips, I might suggest Brand A but others might prefer Brand B! And even if we did provided suggestions, what if the list of suggested items ended up costing more than $70?".
I hope she was not waiting for me to suggest that I'll top up the amount when she asked that last question. I mean, it's not fair for me to use my own money to buy titbits for the department right?
Since the gals are not co-operative enough to spare a bit of their time to come up with their wish lists to be consolidated into a shopping list (which of course will be done by my PA), we needed a plan B. So I told my PA that they could just take the voucher and go directly to the supermarket to do the purchase. But they have to do it outside office hours.
"What do you mean by outside office hours?", she raised her eyebrow and asked. I thought that sentence explained itself. "Which means, I don't want you girls to go shopping during office hours, and not even during lunch time, because that will mean you girls need to take long lunch." To which she rebutted,"So you want us to run the arrand after work?". Finally she got it.
Since it's free money for them to buy titbits, they should be more than happy to do it right? And anyway I'm not asking the whole office to run this errand, just one volunteer will do.
"So now you want one of us to go to the supermarket after work and buy $70 worth of food, and then bring all these loads of food to the office on the next day?", she snorted.
"Yes", I replied matter-of-factly. I was hoping she will volunteer because her husband drives her to work, but instead she just turned around and walked out of my office! I really need to talk to my PA about her manners. And seriously, I don't know why my gals are making this task seem so difficult when my maid can go to the supermarket alone and bring back a trolley full of groceries!
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Diary of a Useless Manager - All those ungrateful contractors
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT my diary. This is just a fictional story of an useless little manager working in a large local organisation. If you work in a large local organisation and find this figure looking suspiciously like your manager, it is only because these useless managers breed freely in large local organisations and the only way to stop them is to remove their stable diet - their subordinates.
Damn it. Another contractor has resigned. This time round, it is an experienced project manager who has been with the organisation for five years. Five years! Can you imagine how much learning and experience we are going to lose? I heard that he has got a higher paid full time job in another company. But we could have offered him another year of contract! How can he just drop his job and leave after working as our contractor for five years, just because the other company offer him a full time position? Ungrateful bastard!
It has always been our organisation's policy to offer more contract positions, after all that was a recommendation coming directly from our ministers, and I totally agree with it. You know, I really don't see any problem with working for us as a contractor. It's not like we discriminate them and treat them with less respect. And it really helps in our bottom lines, because the organisation can save so much on operation costs! No bonus costs, training costs, no employee benefits, they can't take our free shuttle bus and we just need to pay the minimum medical benefits! It's really a win-win situation! They get a job, and we save money!
I really don't understand why is it so difficult to hold on to our contractors. Most of them don't last long in our organisation and the moment another company offer them a full time position, they'll almost always leave us. There is this team in this department where we have a contractor manager leading a team of full timer staff, and this contractor manager position never last more than a year. Sigh...
And with the job market getting better these days, it is getting more and more difficult to fill up the contract positions. There was this guy that I interviewed for a project management position, mind you, it was a very high profile position managing a organisation wide project and the minimum requirement was a Masters Degree with at least 5 years of related working experience. At the end of the interview, I was already certain that he was the right guy. But he had to ask that stupid question to spoil it all! He asked what will happen after the project ended! DUH! Of course he'll be asked to go lah! If not then what?! And the thing that really pissed me off? He then told me that he was not interested in the position anymore! What a waste of my time!
Oh, you asked what about me? Of course I'm a full time staff lah! DUH!
Damn it. Another contractor has resigned. This time round, it is an experienced project manager who has been with the organisation for five years. Five years! Can you imagine how much learning and experience we are going to lose? I heard that he has got a higher paid full time job in another company. But we could have offered him another year of contract! How can he just drop his job and leave after working as our contractor for five years, just because the other company offer him a full time position? Ungrateful bastard!
It has always been our organisation's policy to offer more contract positions, after all that was a recommendation coming directly from our ministers, and I totally agree with it. You know, I really don't see any problem with working for us as a contractor. It's not like we discriminate them and treat them with less respect. And it really helps in our bottom lines, because the organisation can save so much on operation costs! No bonus costs, training costs, no employee benefits, they can't take our free shuttle bus and we just need to pay the minimum medical benefits! It's really a win-win situation! They get a job, and we save money!
I really don't understand why is it so difficult to hold on to our contractors. Most of them don't last long in our organisation and the moment another company offer them a full time position, they'll almost always leave us. There is this team in this department where we have a contractor manager leading a team of full timer staff, and this contractor manager position never last more than a year. Sigh...
And with the job market getting better these days, it is getting more and more difficult to fill up the contract positions. There was this guy that I interviewed for a project management position, mind you, it was a very high profile position managing a organisation wide project and the minimum requirement was a Masters Degree with at least 5 years of related working experience. At the end of the interview, I was already certain that he was the right guy. But he had to ask that stupid question to spoil it all! He asked what will happen after the project ended! DUH! Of course he'll be asked to go lah! If not then what?! And the thing that really pissed me off? He then told me that he was not interested in the position anymore! What a waste of my time!
Oh, you asked what about me? Of course I'm a full time staff lah! DUH!
Friday, February 18, 2011
RPG Games you will not want to miss in 2011
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Final Fantasy XIV
Dragon Age 2
Ni No Kuni
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 3
Trinity Souls of Zill O'll
Final Fantasy XIV
Dragon Age 2
Ni No Kuni
VALKYRIA CHRONICLES 3
Trinity Souls of Zill O'll
Board of Film Censors said The Kids Are NOT All Right
The Board of Film Censors rated Oscar-nominated film The Kids Are All Right as category R21, applying to 'films that may contain adult issues, themes and more explicit scenes,' and limited its release to one single print. Why? Got naked women in front of mirrors? Got hot sex? Nope. Got fully clothed decent lesbians.
Yap! The Kids Are All Right is a comedy from acclaimed director Lisa Cholodenko, starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo. The story goes that the two teenagers went to seek out their biological father and introduce him into the family life that their two mothers have built for them. And of course with the introduction of a "new" family member, the family ties are defined, re—defined, and re—re—defined. Yes it has a funny but touching story line with good actors and actresses, but it also touches the sensitive part of our gahmen.
The New York Times raves that it’s "a generous, nearly note—perfect portrait of a modern family," Entertainment Weekly calls the movie "funny, smart and sexy!", and the Board of Film Censors says "'films should not promote or normalize a homosexual lifestyle". Oh, and they also emphasise a very very important point. They said they already made a concession to allow the film's release, rather than to ban it. So be happy that they allow ONE PRINT ONLY and don't ask for too much okay!
If you're keen in watching that one print, go bookmark Cathay's movie page and look out for the release date. If you're internet savvy like most of us except the gahmen, you know where to find it. Or the last resort, you can always rely on our friendly DVD vendors across the bridge. :)
Yap! The Kids Are All Right is a comedy from acclaimed director Lisa Cholodenko, starring Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, and Mark Ruffalo. The story goes that the two teenagers went to seek out their biological father and introduce him into the family life that their two mothers have built for them. And of course with the introduction of a "new" family member, the family ties are defined, re—defined, and re—re—defined. Yes it has a funny but touching story line with good actors and actresses, but it also touches the sensitive part of our gahmen.
The New York Times raves that it’s "a generous, nearly note—perfect portrait of a modern family," Entertainment Weekly calls the movie "funny, smart and sexy!", and the Board of Film Censors says "'films should not promote or normalize a homosexual lifestyle". Oh, and they also emphasise a very very important point. They said they already made a concession to allow the film's release, rather than to ban it. So be happy that they allow ONE PRINT ONLY and don't ask for too much okay!
If you're keen in watching that one print, go bookmark Cathay's movie page and look out for the release date. If you're internet savvy like most of us except the gahmen, you know where to find it. Or the last resort, you can always rely on our friendly DVD vendors across the bridge. :)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
The Diary of a Useless Manager - It's not just a seventy dollars in-tray
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT my diary. This is just a fictional story of an useless little manager working in a large local organisation. If you work in a large local organisation and find this figure looking suspiciously like your manager, it is only because these useless managers breed freely in large local organisations and the only way to stop them is to remove their stable diet - their subordinates.
That day, my assistant manager told me that we need to procure in-trays for the department. Seriously, I don't see the reason for getting an in-tray. If I've got work for them to do, isn't it easier for me to throw the files on their tables, than to have to aim and throw into the in-tray? And furthermore, they have asked for those enclosed in-trays with drawers, which cost seventy over dollars each! Tsk, tsk, tsk... I really need to talk to these gals about working Cheaper, Better, Faster. Anyway, I told my assistant manager that I can't just approve and I need to check with Finance first, so she sighed and left my room. So rude.
So I went to look for the head of Finance to inform her that I might need to procure a seventy over dollars in-tray for each of my gal in the department. I thought that she would agree with me that this is too much of a spending and disapprove it, but instead, she just rolled her eyes, sighed (again!) and replied "It's your budget, why are you asking me? Anyway it's only seven hundred over dollars in total right?". WTH? Isn't she the head of Finance? Shouldn't she be more prudent to ensure that every buck spent is justified? How can she just let me spend seven hundred over dollars just like that?
While Finance is not doing their jobs, that doesn't mean I can't do mine. So I've decided to investigate more into the reason for getting the in-trays. I designed a questionnaire and scheduled to meet each of my gal face-to-face and interview them on why they need an in-tray. Questions like "Why do you need an in-tray?", "How will you use the in-tray?", "How often will you use the in-tray?", "How will the in-tray assist you in your job?", and the most brilliant one: "Will you say you can still improvise and do your work well without the in-tray?". Smart right?
After spending days of interviewing my whole department, I consolidated all data to analyse them. I know I had to cancel a few meetings and put off some urgent work to do this investigation, but I feel that this is necessary and should be treated with high priority. Oddly, all of my gals seem to have good reasons for having an in-tray. But I believe these can still be considered as excuses for not doing their jobs well with the minimum tools. So I asked my assistant manager, why didn't the previous head procure the in-trays for them. There must be a good reason for the previous head not to give in to them and I want to leverage it!
Then my assistant manager replied,"Oh she did! We used to have in-trays but those were very old and broken and we had to let go when we shifted to this new building. And anyway, during her times, we didn't have that much paper work to do and so we didn't procure and replace." Is it just me, or does she sound like complaining about the amount of jobs that I delegate to them?
That day, my assistant manager told me that we need to procure in-trays for the department. Seriously, I don't see the reason for getting an in-tray. If I've got work for them to do, isn't it easier for me to throw the files on their tables, than to have to aim and throw into the in-tray? And furthermore, they have asked for those enclosed in-trays with drawers, which cost seventy over dollars each! Tsk, tsk, tsk... I really need to talk to these gals about working Cheaper, Better, Faster. Anyway, I told my assistant manager that I can't just approve and I need to check with Finance first, so she sighed and left my room. So rude.
So I went to look for the head of Finance to inform her that I might need to procure a seventy over dollars in-tray for each of my gal in the department. I thought that she would agree with me that this is too much of a spending and disapprove it, but instead, she just rolled her eyes, sighed (again!) and replied "It's your budget, why are you asking me? Anyway it's only seven hundred over dollars in total right?". WTH? Isn't she the head of Finance? Shouldn't she be more prudent to ensure that every buck spent is justified? How can she just let me spend seven hundred over dollars just like that?
While Finance is not doing their jobs, that doesn't mean I can't do mine. So I've decided to investigate more into the reason for getting the in-trays. I designed a questionnaire and scheduled to meet each of my gal face-to-face and interview them on why they need an in-tray. Questions like "Why do you need an in-tray?", "How will you use the in-tray?", "How often will you use the in-tray?", "How will the in-tray assist you in your job?", and the most brilliant one: "Will you say you can still improvise and do your work well without the in-tray?". Smart right?
After spending days of interviewing my whole department, I consolidated all data to analyse them. I know I had to cancel a few meetings and put off some urgent work to do this investigation, but I feel that this is necessary and should be treated with high priority. Oddly, all of my gals seem to have good reasons for having an in-tray. But I believe these can still be considered as excuses for not doing their jobs well with the minimum tools. So I asked my assistant manager, why didn't the previous head procure the in-trays for them. There must be a good reason for the previous head not to give in to them and I want to leverage it!
Then my assistant manager replied,"Oh she did! We used to have in-trays but those were very old and broken and we had to let go when we shifted to this new building. And anyway, during her times, we didn't have that much paper work to do and so we didn't procure and replace." Is it just me, or does she sound like complaining about the amount of jobs that I delegate to them?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Diary of a Useless Manager - If you don't know, I lagi don't know!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is NOT my diary. This is just a fictional story of an useless little manager working in a large local organisation. If you work in a large local organisation and find this figure looking suspiciously like your manager, it is only because these useless managers breed freely in large local organisations and the only way to stop them is to remove their stable diet - their subordinates.
I'm a manager working in a huge local organisation. We have long long time ago claimed to be privatised, but don't worry, we still run our business like a regular statboard. We have to, you know? So that we can still keep all the red tapes.
What you're reading now is my diary which I try to write everyday in the office. What? You think I should be writing it at home after work and before sleep? Siao ah? I want to spend my precious private time doing more important things like watching TV okay! And further more, with the electricity bill going up, I really don't want to switch on my computer and aircon at home. Anyway, since I'm a manager, I've got my own room, so nobody knows what I'm doing inside what!
But then hor, even though this is a diary, don't expect me to update everyday okay. Sometimes I do get busy with real work, sometimes I need to go for long lunches and tea breaks with my bosses to socialise, and sometimes I need to take leaves and MCs. So don't complain this is not a diary when you don't see me posting everyday.
I've got a team of gals working for me in my department, who will take care of everything that their jobs require, including doing my job. And in today's diary, I would like to complain about them.
All my gals have been working in the organisation longer than me. Oh, I've only joined the organisation coming to a year. So naturally they should know more than me right? But sometimes I don't think they are very happy to help. Especially when I asked them to do my job.
I mean, look. I've only been here for slightly less than a year, so they can't expect me to know my job well right? I know I ask the same questions on how to do the same report every month, but hey, it takes time to learn what! And I also need time to pick things up, so if I don't know what is happening most of the time, they can't expect me to contribute during meetings right? But I know that as a responsible manager, I must learn how to delegate. So I came up with the brilliant idea that, instead of taking so much effort to learn the ropes, I should just delegate my jobs to my assistant manager and the rest of the gals. Smart right?
But today, my assistant manager has made me very angry. When I handed her one of the report that I was tasked by higher management to do, she had the cheek to tell me she has not seen that report before and she don't know how to do it! So I told her off: "If you don't know, I lagi don't know!" WTH right?
I'm a manager working in a huge local organisation. We have long long time ago claimed to be privatised, but don't worry, we still run our business like a regular statboard. We have to, you know? So that we can still keep all the red tapes.
What you're reading now is my diary which I try to write everyday in the office. What? You think I should be writing it at home after work and before sleep? Siao ah? I want to spend my precious private time doing more important things like watching TV okay! And further more, with the electricity bill going up, I really don't want to switch on my computer and aircon at home. Anyway, since I'm a manager, I've got my own room, so nobody knows what I'm doing inside what!
But then hor, even though this is a diary, don't expect me to update everyday okay. Sometimes I do get busy with real work, sometimes I need to go for long lunches and tea breaks with my bosses to socialise, and sometimes I need to take leaves and MCs. So don't complain this is not a diary when you don't see me posting everyday.
I've got a team of gals working for me in my department, who will take care of everything that their jobs require, including doing my job. And in today's diary, I would like to complain about them.
All my gals have been working in the organisation longer than me. Oh, I've only joined the organisation coming to a year. So naturally they should know more than me right? But sometimes I don't think they are very happy to help. Especially when I asked them to do my job.
I mean, look. I've only been here for slightly less than a year, so they can't expect me to know my job well right? I know I ask the same questions on how to do the same report every month, but hey, it takes time to learn what! And I also need time to pick things up, so if I don't know what is happening most of the time, they can't expect me to contribute during meetings right? But I know that as a responsible manager, I must learn how to delegate. So I came up with the brilliant idea that, instead of taking so much effort to learn the ropes, I should just delegate my jobs to my assistant manager and the rest of the gals. Smart right?
But today, my assistant manager has made me very angry. When I handed her one of the report that I was tasked by higher management to do, she had the cheek to tell me she has not seen that report before and she don't know how to do it! So I told her off: "If you don't know, I lagi don't know!" WTH right?
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